[ Gray normally does her best to stay out of Majorita's way, feeling that she sure grates on the girl's nerves. She probably shouldn't be so nervous about the opinion of a younger(??) girl, and who appears to be a child at that, but Gray readily acknowledges her own pathetic nature and will make no excuses for it.
But today, it's a little different. She's on a mission. With a boldness unusual for her, she approaches Majorita with a pen, a notebook, and a look of fragile courage on her face. ]
Hello, Miss Majorita! Um... would you have a minute?
[Most people grate on the girl's nerves. Its a wonder she has any nerves left with all the grating that is done on them. It should go without saying that before she's addressed, she doesn't even seem to notice Grey. She does turn when addressed at least.]
Oh, its you.
[She doesn't disguise the annoyance in her voice in the slightest.]
What? I'm not busy, but that doesn't mean I want to waste my time.
[ Yep, definitely grating on Majorita's nerves. Gray feels mild horror on the inside, but the magic courage running through her veins emboldens her to rush onward. ]
Then I'll be quick! Let me ask... d-do you think I have any good qualities?
[ She stutters her way through the question with a healthy heaping of mortification. If some horrible hellbeast spawned from the earth and bit her head off right this second, she would be grateful to it. ]
[The unexpected question clearly threw her off, because she sounds more confused then annoyed. There's a few moments when she tries to process what she'd just been asked. Her brain needed a moment to reboot.]
I told you before we weren't going to be friends, didn't I? Is this some weird attempt to get me to change my mind? Why would you even want that?
[If there was a nearby assumption, she would definitely be leaping over it.]
[ Gray is taking that as a no... but that isn't surprising either, so she relaxes slightly with resignation. She figured Majorita woul be a tough customer, but it still isn't exactly pleasant to have it confirmed that you're probably a waste of space. ]
It's an assignment that was put to me. I've been trying to ask anyone willing to answer.
[ Literally anyone, as evidenced by the fact that she's talking to Majorita about it. ]
[The annoyance on her face fades, if ever so slightly.]
I could go on a lot longer on the parts of you that I dislike. Like the fact you're bothering me over some dumb 'assignment'. Who would even ask for something like that? And the fact you can't ever speak up and I have to strain to even hear what you're asking. But the part that annoys me the most is how you remind me just a little bit of how I used to be before I lost everything. I was never as soft and weak as you, of course. But there is one thing.
You're still here. You haven't turned tail and ran away like those foolish rebels we're fighting against. As long as that doesn't change, you have at least a little value. I doubt I'll ever think much of you, and I won't be too sad when you inevitably die, but you're still better then anyone from the Pleroma.
[It was in a back-handed and rude way, but it could almost come across as an attempt to be nice if one was particularly liberal with their definition of nice.]
[ That's... a lot of criticism, and Gray gamely races to jot it all down. They're fair points, really. Her pen slows down when Majorita admits that she used to be a bit like Gray before, though Gray can't envision it at all.
She absently takes note of the "compliment," though it feels generous to call it that. But she wasn't expecting any praise in the first place, so the fact that Majorita made an attempt at all is surprising. Gray's writing slows to a stop as she looks down for a moment, arranging her words before slowly looking back up to Majorita. ]
If I could be more outspoken like you are, I'd like that a lot. When I was younger, I wasn't... like this.
[ She was a normal energetic child until around five years old. In that respect, she and Majorita might be direct opposites. ]
So, something happened to you, as well. It must have something pretty big to turn you so soft.
[An unfamiliar look comes to the girl's face. It is unfamiliar because there isn't a hint of scorn on it. She looks thoughtful, perhaps a little bit pensive.]
I can be outspoken because I have the power to back it up. No one can tell me to do something i don't want to do. Well, I won't say no to the Regent, of course. If you talk back without that sort of power, you'll just get yourself killed. I came close to finding that out more then once.
I have no clue what you can actually do. But you still feel like a weakling. IF you had power, you wouldn't be so scared of everyone around you. If you want to be able to be outspoken, you'll need to be stronger in other ways first.
[Its almost like she's actually giving advice. Its probably not the BEST advice. But its advice.]
[ It may not be immediately applicable on the surface, but it does sound like genuine advice. Gray makes an attempt to seriously turn it over in her mind. ]
Power... as in the power to fight?
[ She has that, technically, but she would never use her abilities to hurt anyone except in defense. Is brute force really the key to confidence? She feels that there must be another ingredient less easily seen. Her head tips in thought as she tries to form a question that addresses that feeling. ]
Then if all your powers were taken away, would you stop speaking your mind?
[Not that it is a difficult thing to do, but the second question seems to put her in a sour mood.]
That won't happen. I won't let myself be powerless again. I'll use anyone, do anything to avoid that. So you can just put that out of your head. But look at me. Without my magic, even you might be able to hurt me. A little. Probably not much. Well, okay, maybe not at all. But even some random idiot with a sword would be able to dangerous. I'd have to be some sort of moron to make someone angry without the strength to back up my anger.
[In other words, it sounds like she would.]
I don't know what sort of place you came from. But I've spent almost my entire life finding ways to survive when no one cared if I lived or died. I got tired of being kicked aside and started kicking back. I...geez, I am no good at actually trying to HELP people. What I'm trying to say is confidence. Even if you don't have the strength to kick back, if someone THINKS you do they aren't going to make the first strike. And before you get any dumb ideas, that isn't how I am. I'll be happy to prove to you my power is real if you don't believe me.
[ It definitely sounds like Majorita would be the same whether or not she had her powers...
Confidence is a more digestible answer to Gray, even if it's much easier said than done where she's concerned. She understands that confidence can be more a function of politics than fact. It's being able to pull off the act that stumps her. Maybe she's just too aware of her flaws. ]
I believe you.
[ She would really be surprised if Majorita were bluffing this whole time. And Gray has already known someone who had to grow up according to Majorita's description, a little girl who had to put on the face of a lion for the sake of a merciless world. ]
I don't know if I can pull off that kind of confidence, but I'll do my best. And... thank you for doing your best to help me.
[ Even if Majorita didn't think she was very good at it. ]
Before I came here, the place I was in was... a very political one. It was a school and headquarters for magi. But since I was only an apprentice, not much was expected of me.
[The part about a 'school of magi' doesn't pass her by. So, this weak seeming girl had at least some knowledge of the arcane? She couldn't pretend that wasn't at least a little interesting.]
Sounds super boring. Most places back home didn't really have politics. It was Might Makes Right, if you could crush the person that disagreed with you, that meant you won.
[There was a good reason she was so direct. She is not particularly used to subtlety. Her problems could never be solved with words.]
And don't THANK me. It makes me ill just hearing something like that from you.
[There's a short pause, and what follows next is muttered so low that it makes even Grey's soft voice seem loud.]
......you're welcome, though...
[She's back to her normal self almost instantly.]
Now, are you done wasting my time? I'm going back to my room.
[ If the magi Gray knew of freely used their magecraft to fight for dominance, they would probably wipe themselves out as a population within a year, she thinks...
She perks up at the apology she could almost have imagined, what with how quiet it was, but she's always been good at listening. Though Majorita is back to her normal self in an instant, Gray barely hears the rudeness in the following comment. Ah, but it seems like she's being dismissed. She has to fight the urge to thank Majorita again, instead dipping a quick bow as a compromise. ]
That's all. Um, I'm sorry to have bothered you.
[ And she'll wait for Majorita to take her leave before moving on herself. ]
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
momijizukamori
mid-june
Date: 2022-06-16 06:08 am (UTC)But today, it's a little different. She's on a mission. With a boldness unusual for her, she approaches Majorita with a pen, a notebook, and a look of fragile courage on her face. ]
Hello, Miss Majorita! Um... would you have a minute?
[ So bold and strong........... ]
no subject
Date: 2022-06-16 09:06 am (UTC)Oh, its you.
[She doesn't disguise the annoyance in her voice in the slightest.]
What? I'm not busy, but that doesn't mean I want to waste my time.
no subject
Date: 2022-06-17 06:14 am (UTC)Then I'll be quick! Let me ask... d-do you think I have any good qualities?
[ She stutters her way through the question with a healthy heaping of mortification. If some horrible hellbeast spawned from the earth and bit her head off right this second, she would be grateful to it. ]
no subject
Date: 2022-06-18 12:14 am (UTC)[The unexpected question clearly threw her off, because she sounds more confused then annoyed. There's a few moments when she tries to process what she'd just been asked. Her brain needed a moment to reboot.]
I told you before we weren't going to be friends, didn't I? Is this some weird attempt to get me to change my mind? Why would you even want that?
[If there was a nearby assumption, she would definitely be leaping over it.]
no subject
Date: 2022-06-20 07:48 am (UTC)It's an assignment that was put to me. I've been trying to ask anyone willing to answer.
[ Literally anyone, as evidenced by the fact that she's talking to Majorita about it. ]
If your answer is "no," then that's okay too...
no subject
Date: 2022-06-20 09:58 am (UTC)[The annoyance on her face fades, if ever so slightly.]
I could go on a lot longer on the parts of you that I dislike. Like the fact you're bothering me over some dumb 'assignment'. Who would even ask for something like that? And the fact you can't ever speak up and I have to strain to even hear what you're asking. But the part that annoys me the most is how you remind me just a little bit of how I used to be before I lost everything. I was never as soft and weak as you, of course. But there is one thing.
You're still here. You haven't turned tail and ran away like those foolish rebels we're fighting against. As long as that doesn't change, you have at least a little value. I doubt I'll ever think much of you, and I won't be too sad when you inevitably die, but you're still better then anyone from the Pleroma.
[It was in a back-handed and rude way, but it could almost come across as an attempt to be nice if one was particularly liberal with their definition of nice.]
no subject
Date: 2022-06-20 10:15 pm (UTC)She absently takes note of the "compliment," though it feels generous to call it that. But she wasn't expecting any praise in the first place, so the fact that Majorita made an attempt at all is surprising. Gray's writing slows to a stop as she looks down for a moment, arranging her words before slowly looking back up to Majorita. ]
If I could be more outspoken like you are, I'd like that a lot. When I was younger, I wasn't... like this.
[ She was a normal energetic child until around five years old. In that respect, she and Majorita might be direct opposites. ]
no subject
Date: 2022-06-21 03:45 am (UTC)[An unfamiliar look comes to the girl's face. It is unfamiliar because there isn't a hint of scorn on it. She looks thoughtful, perhaps a little bit pensive.]
I can be outspoken because I have the power to back it up. No one can tell me to do something i don't want to do. Well, I won't say no to the Regent, of course. If you talk back without that sort of power, you'll just get yourself killed. I came close to finding that out more then once.
I have no clue what you can actually do. But you still feel like a weakling. IF you had power, you wouldn't be so scared of everyone around you. If you want to be able to be outspoken, you'll need to be stronger in other ways first.
[Its almost like she's actually giving advice. Its probably not the BEST advice. But its advice.]
no subject
Date: 2022-06-23 05:44 am (UTC)Power... as in the power to fight?
[ She has that, technically, but she would never use her abilities to hurt anyone except in defense. Is brute force really the key to confidence? She feels that there must be another ingredient less easily seen. Her head tips in thought as she tries to form a question that addresses that feeling. ]
Then if all your powers were taken away, would you stop speaking your mind?
no subject
Date: 2022-06-23 10:54 am (UTC)That won't happen. I won't let myself be powerless again. I'll use anyone, do anything to avoid that. So you can just put that out of your head. But look at me. Without my magic, even you might be able to hurt me. A little. Probably not much. Well, okay, maybe not at all. But even some random idiot with a sword would be able to dangerous. I'd have to be some sort of moron to make someone angry without the strength to back up my anger.
[In other words, it sounds like she would.]
I don't know what sort of place you came from. But I've spent almost my entire life finding ways to survive when no one cared if I lived or died. I got tired of being kicked aside and started kicking back. I...geez, I am no good at actually trying to HELP people. What I'm trying to say is confidence. Even if you don't have the strength to kick back, if someone THINKS you do they aren't going to make the first strike. And before you get any dumb ideas, that isn't how I am. I'll be happy to prove to you my power is real if you don't believe me.
cries i swear i replied to this......
Date: 2022-06-29 01:44 am (UTC)Confidence is a more digestible answer to Gray, even if it's much easier said than done where she's concerned. She understands that confidence can be more a function of politics than fact. It's being able to pull off the act that stumps her. Maybe she's just too aware of her flaws. ]
I believe you.
[ She would really be surprised if Majorita were bluffing this whole time. And Gray has already known someone who had to grow up according to Majorita's description, a little girl who had to put on the face of a lion for the sake of a merciless world. ]
I don't know if I can pull off that kind of confidence, but I'll do my best. And... thank you for doing your best to help me.
[ Even if Majorita didn't think she was very good at it. ]
Before I came here, the place I was in was... a very political one. It was a school and headquarters for magi. But since I was only an apprentice, not much was expected of me.
I have decided you are forgiven
Date: 2022-06-29 06:32 pm (UTC)Sounds super boring. Most places back home didn't really have politics. It was Might Makes Right, if you could crush the person that disagreed with you, that meant you won.
[There was a good reason she was so direct. She is not particularly used to subtlety. Her problems could never be solved with words.]
And don't THANK me. It makes me ill just hearing something like that from you.
[There's a short pause, and what follows next is muttered so low that it makes even Grey's soft voice seem loud.]
......you're welcome, though...
[She's back to her normal self almost instantly.]
Now, are you done wasting my time? I'm going back to my room.
no subject
Date: 2022-07-02 04:31 am (UTC)She perks up at the apology she could almost have imagined, what with how quiet it was, but she's always been good at listening. Though Majorita is back to her normal self in an instant, Gray barely hears the rudeness in the following comment. Ah, but it seems like she's being dismissed. She has to fight the urge to thank Majorita again, instead dipping a quick bow as a compromise. ]
That's all. Um, I'm sorry to have bothered you.
[ And she'll wait for Majorita to take her leave before moving on herself. ]